|1. How many cops does it take to screw-in
a light bulb?
Ans: NONE....[It turned itself in!!!]
|2. What's the difference between a liturgist
and a terrorist?
Ans: You can negotiate with a terrorist!
What do a child away at college, and
an electrician have in common?
Ans: They both wire constantly for money!!!
4. A priest, rabbi and a minister ate lunch
together weekly at a restaurant in a small town.
|After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the
Cathedral of Notre
Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer
was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the
interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had
decided to call it a day - when an armless man approached him
and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job.
The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!"
"No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the
bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody. The bishop
listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a
suitable replacement for Quasimodo.
Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped,
staggered toward the railing, and fell head first to his death in the
street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he
reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure,
drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before.
As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked,
"Bishop, who was this man?"
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings
-Contributed by Eileen Esposito 7/25/00
|THE PERFECT HUSBAND
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?" "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
"Yes." "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?" "Only $1,500.00."
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much .... "
"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price .... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year ... "
"What price did he quote you?" "Only $60,000 ....
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great! But before we hang up, something else .... "
"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and .. stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property ... "
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $450,000 - a magnificent price .... and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover ... "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"
"OK, sweetie ... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye ... I do too ...
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while
holding the phone and asks to all those present:
"Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"!!!!!!!!!!
|Yes! I will publish
your joke here [Provided it isn't too lengthy, AND IT'S CLEAN!!
e-mail your jokes to: firstname.lastname@example.org