This is It!!
You have arrived......
If you like GOOD Jokes, This IS the place.
1. How many cops does it take to screw-in a light bulb?
   Ans: NONE....[It turned itself in!!!]
2. What's the difference between a liturgist and a terrorist?
    Ans: You can negotiate with a terrorist!
3. What do a child away at college, and an electrician have in common?
   Ans: They both wire constantly for money!!!

4. A priest, rabbi and a minister ate lunch together weekly at a restaurant in a small town.
    Since it was summer, the clergymen were discussing their common problems with     
    insects, especially bees that were invading their worship space and annoying their 
   congregants. The rabbi spoke first: "The bees keep buzzing around the temple during 
   services, can  you give me any advice? The minister spoke up: 'We have a congregant 
    who is an exterminator. I just ask him to come over and he takes care of the problem.' 
    The Rabbi  answered: 'Well, we had a method that worked for a time. we had some 
    sugar water in a  large bowl in the back, and the bees went for that, but still, some   came 
    in anyway.' Then father spoke up: 'You guys should try our approach; We invite the bees 
    in...... we baptize them, give them first-communion, confirm them, and we never see 
    them again!

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre
 Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer
 was needed.  The bishop decided that he would conduct the
 interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the
 screening process.
 After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had
 decided to call it a day - when an armless man approached him
 and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job.
 The bishop was incredulous.  "You have no arms!"
 "No matter," said the man, "observe!"  He then began striking the
 bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody.  The bishop
 listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a
 suitable replacement for Quasimodo.
 Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped,
 staggered toward the railing, and fell head first to his death in the
 street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he
 reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure,
 drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before.
 As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked,
 "Bishop, who was this man?"
 "I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings
 a bell."
-Contributed by Eileen Esposito 7/25/00
There are several men sitting around  in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of  the men picks it up, and the  following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"  "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
"Yes."  "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where  you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?" "Only $1,500.00."
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much  .... "
"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes  dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price  .... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year ... "
"What price did he quote you?"  "Only $60,000 ....
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great! But before we hang up, something else  .... "
"It  might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and .. stopped by the real estate agent  this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year.  It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property ... "
"How  much are they asking?"
"Only $450,000 - a magnificent price .... and I see that we have that much  in the bank to cover ... "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000.  OK?"
"OK, sweetie ... Thanks! I'll see you  later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye ... I do too ...
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his  hand while
holding the phone and asks to all those present:
 "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"!!!!!!!!!!
Yes! I will publish your joke here [Provided it isn't too lengthy, AND IT'S CLEAN!!
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